sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
