pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
