I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
