dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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