I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
