So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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