ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
