Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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