Got a toothbrush?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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