Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
