take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
