Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
