The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
