how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
