I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize