The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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