I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
