White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
