Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We are all done wearing pants today
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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