we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
