somebody snuck up and got me drunk
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
