do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
