47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
