wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
