You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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