Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
