he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
