I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
