the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I supernannyed him into submission
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
