He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
