I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
