I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Enjoy the penises
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
