I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
