My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
