I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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