I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
