Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
