And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
