It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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