Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize