I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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