There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
