I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
