just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
