I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
