Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
