Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
