The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
