this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i will never coherently bang her
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
