If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
