I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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