they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
