I didn't shave. On purpose
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
