He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He shit in the fireplace
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
