No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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