Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
