Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
