i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
