Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
