She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
